kinda ....

wanted to update my blog afew days ago but didnt know why, felt kinda sian to do so.. haiz.. its qutie sad to felt that way.. its ok anyways cause im updating my blog again now..

bef0Re i knew y0u, i didnt knew that i c0uld l00k at s0meb0dy and smile f0R n0 reas0n..

once again as usual im have alot that i wanted to write cause im too lazy to update my blog plus i didnt have the access to the internet.. haha hope my saviour runs by real soon.. cause i haven been touch my computer for already don't know how many months.. haha..

quite afew things have happend.. perhaps you might felt that im being unresponsible or giving up but im too tired to carry on the load that is not supposely be mine.. haha call me stupid, call me selfish but i had washed my hands off the class t-shirt thing..

i will not say sorry again for i know that you wont like it please believe that i dont really mean it.. thanks for the breakfast..

i don't know if you are still the one cause i dont know if im willing to once again give you my heart.. i believe that im too weak to take that pain again.. please prove to me that you are serious and sincere about me.. cause i think im still waiting.. athough you said that if you are not serious about me, you wouldn't asked me to that dinner but is that really the truth??? sorry that i feeling and talking this way cause im real scare to be broken once again.. its been so hard for me to stop behaving like a walking zombie for some time since the day you left me.. so i had to fend for my heart and protect that for any unneccessary hurt.. im not the one to say that im behaving like a walking zombie but that was what my friend said.. haha if this was last few months, i would have like im on the ninth could but why am i feeling this way??? trying to control my heart or the heart is going dead??? will i say yes if you pop that question now???

qiqi.. thanks for still giving me the morning calls daily and not giving up on me.. didnt know what happend to me for the past two weeks.. im sorry!!! thanks.. muack muacks..

dear friends esepically ling.. haha im so glad that you all are always being patient and not flare up on me.. cause im always blur.. haha thanks.. muacks.. i may not always voice out how much you guys meant to me but i hope you guys know how much you are to me..

haha.. today quite weird.. don't know if its a good thing or bad.. haha firstly, zhen said that i looked liked i applied foundation.. haha then miss tan mentioned if i had plucked my brows.. haha she said i looked quite different today.. haha.. dear friends, please let me know if im ever changing.. im don' t wanna changed to a different even myself i cant recogised.. i still wan to be the same old farzanah.. regardless of character or appearance.. thanks..

got to go.. take care..